My Center-Uninterrupted!

It's been three weeks since my last post.  Lately, I haven't really had much to write about to be honest. I've been working {still loving the new gig}, relaxing, planning my next moves and finding my center. A few weeks ago, I had a conversation w/ my friend's boyfriend, Asa. It was great chatting with him! What started out as a routine "How are you?," ended up being an in depth, therapeutic  conversation about...ME! Sounds a bit cocky/conceited right? NO! I am NEVER one to talk about myself. But it damn sure felt good to be asked about MYSELF for once, opposed to being the one always doing the asking. For once, I was able to express myself, my goals, dreams and aspirations...uninterrupted, with someone genuinely interested. Thanks Asa!


After that conversation, I feel like my vision was a lot less blurred-because it was recognized by someone else. Validation. Oprah talked about it in her "Farewell" show. Validating someone. Simply recognizing/acknowledging someone or something that someone is doing. Was I searching for validation? No, obviously though, subconsciously I had longed for it. That conversation opened a new door for me. 


Finding my center was more than coming to a happy place within myself, but it was validating others around me and bringing them along to that happy place with me. Let me tell you-what a great feeling it is. It's a happiness and peace that only comes from within.


Try it...


...Well, yesterday was Christmas! {I'm writing this blog at 2am on 12/27 but I'm still in a 12/26 state of mind} Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone! I enjoyed my day very much! Fuchsia was along for the ride again. Spent time w/ JaNisa and got to see my bff Tara. Wine, food and more wine was how I spent my Christmas holiday. You really learn the true meaning of Christmas when you're 23! Ha! But seriously, it was definitely about the love and relaxing this season. Much fun. 


I think that about catches y'all up. I hope y'all take something from this and put it to good use. I'll check in with y'all in a few days! Thanks for reading.


Ps. I'm not a "taker". I didn't just "take" from that conversation w/ Asa. He, too, discussed a few things he had in the works and of course, existing in this networking society, there may be a few projects we'll collaborate on. Stay tuned...


God is love. Love is family + friends.

Mel

If You Ever, Ever Feel...

I witnessed today how small minded, judgmental and assumptive people are-and they were ADULTS. It is very sad. What hope do we have for our youth being a better generation, a more accepting, forgiving, non-judging group of people, when the very people raising them exemplify just the opposite?! The saddest part is, children, teenagers, are taking their own lives after having being bullied and no one is holding the parents of these children doing the bullying accountable. 


To witness an adult, of a particular age, behave in such a manner that negatively affects our society and how we interact and co-exist, is very troubling and extremely disheartening. I feel as though I witnessed firsthand today the type of parenting that is plaguing our younger generations and brainwashing them into believing that it is OK to bully, torment and bring down others. 


It is NOT. It is cruel. It is wrong.


I hold the parents of the bullies accountable. Somewhere down the line while raising your children, you have forgotten to instill in them: decency; simply being a decent person. Treating others how you would want to be treated. How could you NOT express that to your children?


It starts at home. 


To the parents of bullies and to the bullies themselves: To the people, the lives, you've affected, (...if they feel like I feel...) you can keep your "Sorry". Explain to the families of those who have lost a loved one AFTER having being bullied-explain to them why it is you felt obligated to bully someone else. Explain to them how you blatantly showed no regard for their  well being and/or emotional state. Now, say you're "Sorry"...


...


*I made this blog, not because of one thing in particular, but because of how it seems that generations are passing this ignorance down to generation after generation. As I get older and I see characteristics in people 20+ my senior, identical to actions that I saw in my peers some 14 years ago-it is disturbing. Bullying affects everyone. African Americans, Caucasians-every race, the LGBT community, short people, tall people, teenagers going through puberty, poor people, rich people, religious groups, political groups, cultures...IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE. And it is NOT right. 


To everyone... #ItGetsBetter


Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
Just Need Someone To Talk To: 1-804-943-3268 (Mel)


"God is love. Love is family and friends."

Mel

Size Me Up!

I really just want to get this off of my chest. 85% of the day, everyday, I am extremely self-conscious about my weight. That said, YES, I do think about my weight a lot. To everyone around me, it may or may not show, but yes, it stays present on my mind and sometimes it gets depressing to think about. I want to...NEED to do something about it, but I don't. I just continue to eat, NOT exercise, I overeat, I sleep right after meals...everything under the sun that packs on the pounds, I do it (x5).


This is sad.


Rewind: 

About three years ago, I dropped a few pounds. I don't know the number. I know that after 3 months, I saw a difference. I must say that it was NOT on purpose. I was doing a show. I walked everyday to rehearsal and shows and sometimes walked home after. My schedule was so busy, I wasn't eating properly and I was consuming water like crazy. Again, I didn't consciously decide to do it. There I was looking in the mirror, and I was loving the image looking back at me.

Fast-forward to the present. I've since come to understand and accept that I am an emotional eater. When things are good, when things are bad, when I'm nervous, worried, anxious, overly excited...any emotion you can think of, I will eat...and eat....and eat!  


To make matters worst, I ENJOY food! The taste of good food. Gourmet. Soul food. Diners. Fast Food. Desserts...my God!!! I like Sodas. I love kool-aid. I enjoy wine. And I drink socially. Calories. Calories. Calories!!!


What do I do? I am getting back to a place in my life, where I am happy and things are really looking good. I partially suffer from the fear of "The rug can be pulled from up under me at any moment" syndrome-but this is an excuse. I know. I need to find a balance in the meals I eat and exercise..etc. Also I don't like to exercise. Exercise, meaning going to the gym, running, blah blah blah...NO. You do too much to not see INSTANT results. Then comes the discouragement. 

I must take control over this. I want to feel good about myself. Not that I don't feel good about myself now...but I want to feel better. I want my image on the outside to look and feel as great as I do on the inside...in my heart and in my spirit. I need the motivation. And I need the support along the way. 

Help me. Somebody. Anybody.

**In no way do I want to be "skinny". However, I am 5'5 and 3/4. Based on the scale, I am 247.6lbs. (Many say I don't look it. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Do I feel like it? Eh!) I wear a size 38 (which really means 40-no need in hiding it like I tried to hide the fact that I'm basically 250lbs.). I do want to be fit. Healthy, Balanced. 

I'm scared to lose 100lbs. I'm scared to even attempt. What if I succeed? I don' think I could look at that image in the mirror. I'm just being honest. While I'm being honest, 150lbs, is a bit ridiculous for me-FOR ME...it just is. Let me get to down to 200lbs first. Then I'll reevaluate. **

Thanks.

God is love. Love is family and friends.

Mel

A New Day

Having to describe the past week or so of my personal and professional life, I can only sum up in one word: blessed. Let's take it back to 11.16.11....


That Wednesday was a roller coaster. The day before, I had an interview w/ a company that I thought went pretty well. In fact, it was great. I was a bit on cloud 9 but anxious-waiting on confirmation as to whether I got the job or not. On Thursday, I got the call! YES! Let me tell you, it was the call I wanted and needed for so long. This new job will open up so many doors for me. Financially, of course, but on a personal note, it is the perfect transition from the career path I was on, to putting me on the career path I've always desired.


Within the past several months, I began to sink into a depression. No, not clinical-still a depression. I knew I was off. I was unhappy. At times, miserable. Overeating. Smoking. Drinking. I was losing myself...and fast. No one's fault but my own. I had a lot on my mind. Work. Finances. Social life. Family. Hobbies. Health (food and constant weight gain). It was a lot. Fear....fear that I wouldn't get out of the situation and w/ my dignity.


Finding my happy--took prayer, great friends, time, patience and determination. On 11.18.11, I walked away from my job, my position, in the industry that I loved too much and I found a large piece of my happiness. 


I won't stay away forever! Lol. My life revolves around this industry and this industry has, in part, made me who I am. But now, I know my calling. I know what I can contribute and how much of myself I can give. I know that I have dreams and many goals to achieve in life - and above all, I now know that I am free...free to make it ALL happen.


The S E R E N I T Y Prayer
"God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference." (click for full text)

11.19.11 - 11.27.11 I was home! Went to Mommy's house for the holidays! Fuchsia came w/ me and it was simply the best time. We enjoyed ourselves. We really just enjoyed being 23 years old. With a few hard earned dollars in our pockets and time - we partied, we ate, we slept in, we spent time w/ a few of my cousins and best friends. Very relaxing. (S/o to JaNisa, Brittany, Jamaar & Tara - thank y'all so much. Words cannot express how much I soaked in enjoyed the time spent this past week! Carolyn, Thank you for being a friend! Winterrrrrrrrrrr! Lol. Wine? Fabulous things YET what we do naturally!)

Now I'm back in the 804. Head is clear. I'm focused. I have a couple of things in the works. Projects that I am working on, which I will discuss in future blogs as things began to take form. (S/o to Myles and Kellita! We have history to make. Love y'all!) 

Work begins tomorrow! I'm uber excited! I'm bursting inside w/ joy!

Thanks for letting me release this...Everyone, find your happiness. A man is nothing without his name.  And a person is miserable w/o their happiness. It is worth having and it's yours for the taking. Be happy. Be blessed.

God is love. Love is family and friends.

Mel

Fashion bit...

Fashion, style, what is it all about? Seriously? Aren't all clothes...fashion? Isn't style based on a personal idea of what you believe to be flattering or appealing? As I sit here on this gloomy, great-for-sleep weather day, watching "Sex and The City" w/ Winter...enough said. This show showcases all types of fashions and styles for all! Chic, urban, grunge, hippy, skater, so on and so forth, men, women and in-between...fashion fashion fashion! What is your personal style? Do you follow trends? What other trends do you like?


It's Fall! Fashion trends will tell you to whip out your browns, blacks, tans, earth tones, oranges, reds and darker  shades to compliment the season. Turtle necks, cashmere sweaters, cardigans...the whole bit. Women, trendy women, will always throw a splash of neon on the darker tones. They must have something that pops!  


Naturally, I would describe my style as Urban/Skater/Casual. T-shirts, polo,  fitted jeans (NOT SKINNY), vest, flannel, button-up, casual shoe/a brown or black boot/dress shoe. I dress everything with my rings (sentimental) and a watch (Try not to over-do it. Do a bracelet or a ring, necklace or a bracelet. Always wear a watch). Lastly, fellas change it up sometimes. Cashmere sweaters, cardigans, jeans vs. pants...casual shoe vs. sneaker...plaid vs. logo shirts (ew!! Those shirts with the 6th grade designs and such..NO!)...To find out more about how I mix and match my style, the inspirations and pieces I pull to form my style, visit GQ, American Eagle, and Esquire-just to name a few!


Ladies, your turn! I was raised by my mom. I have three sisters, a lot of aunts, females cousins and females in general in my life. Needless to say, women apparel has been prominent in my life since forever. Did I mention, I follow, have talked to and recently have gotten to meet fashion icon Kimora Lee Simmons?! Yup! (Follow her on twitter @OfficialKimora.)  Let's get down to business. Heels heels heels! It elongates the legs. It supports the body. It adds curves and enhances a natural standing position...when done properly! Plus, it just looks s e x y!

Tis the season for a brown or darker shade, or animal print boot. A skinny jean and a street-chic shirt. (just a tip (smile)) You all have so many options to choose from. I can't even begin to get into it all. The best look for  a woman, in my opinion, a high high HIGH heel, a jean (skinny, or flare), a blouse (accessorize w/ belt for body flattering purposes if you wish...). Feel free to drape with a blazer. (For more ideas and tips on everyday fashion visit JustFab.com, Elle - just to name a few!)


Again, I can go on and on with you women. Men too! And let me be clear to the fellas. Yes, women have a greater selection to choose from, but our collection is fairly broad too. Mix and match! It goes a long way...ask the women!

Fashion is what it is...fashion; an expression of one's personality through items of clothing, put together to create a style.


*I do not support the killing of animals for fashion purposes. I am an avid supporter of all things fun, fabulous and faux!*


God is love. Love is family + friends.

Mel

Food, Water, Air and Productivity

My my my, I must say, I am impressed! Another week & I'm back! Proud of myself. This has the potential to be something great...I can feel it. Little catching up...(1) The mock trial has ended. Hayley made it to semi-finals. It was such a great run and much fun! (2) I made it home, last Tuesday night - Thursday evening. Needed that. So good seeing Mommy and sister! *smile*....Umm, finding my happy...


Since last post, I have continued to really evaluate myself, inside and out. What makes me happy? What makes me sad? Irritated? etc...PRODUCTIVITY! What I have come to realize is that I am at my best, my happiest, when I am being productive. I thrive off of it. it is a feeling I cannot explain. It simply fulfills me! I ride high on cloud 9 when I am in my element, being creative, creating things, taking on different roles on projects, building platforms with hopes and dreams of something great coming from them.


 Where does the sadness, irritation come in? When something or someone is holding me back from being productive. Distractions, negativity and most of all when I get in my own way. Like relationships (right now in my life), I don't want to be tied down to just one thing. I have to be busy and involved with many projects at one time. More than ever, I see ultimately, I am in my own way, first,  of really doing everything that I want to be doing. I have chosen, because of financial comfortableness,  to allow myself to be tied down- and I am miserable.


There! I said it.


--> INSERTS PHONE CALL and A SMILE <--


Where was I, ummm...so yeah, lately, because of my work schedule, I have gotten in the habit of staying busy and getting involved with fulfilling projects. I have in the past month or so, gotten my feet wet in projects over a 100mi radius.


I think things are turning around...


I think the tone of this blog changed drastically after the phone call. Can't go into details right now, but I'm still smiling. Ahhh! Lol! Follow me on twitter @IAmOfficialMel


God is love. Love is family + friends.

Mel

My Week!

I made it...to a second post! Ha! Thanks for the feedback (via twitter, text, bbm, etc...). Hope the following continues to grow. I am contemplating starting a second blog, which would chronicle my battle w/ food & my weight. Depressing...I know. Maybe I'll just throw it in this mix?! We'll see. Anyways, thanks for coming back! My week...


As you have read, I am an actor. All, MOST, gigs aren't paid these days, but when you love the art as much as I do, you take on gigs simply for the enjoyment...(or in this case for the enjoyment and to help out a friend!--AND LET'S NOT CONFUSE ANYTHING, YES I HAVE BEEN PAID, MORE TIMES OVER...moving along...) Since last Tuesday, I have been a witness for a "mock trial". I cannot begin to explain how much fun this has been! Gosh! I have juggled two characters (depending on which night) and it has been a thrill. My dear friend Carolyn has also been along for the ride (her daughter is in Law School-we're doing it for her). On alternating nights, we play the plaintiff's witnesses, Dana Dalton & Lt. Corey Jackson, or the defendant's witnesses, Chris Allman & Terri Escobar. She keeps advancing...I'll keep you posted!


At VCU, I've been prepping to help out with my friend, RTCC Award Winning Actor for best Ensemble - Justin (Ha! Did you like that introduction? I bet!) It's for his directing class. That too has been fun. I love working with different artists. Understanding their vision. Seeing them in and out of their element. Much respect. (Also, if you get a chance, Justin is starring in "Fences" by August Wilson. Be sure to check it out! 


This past weekend at work, there was a memorial- a vaudevillian burlesque show brunch. It was nice. Fabulous and simple. RIP Phil Slomski (Special thanks to my friends Carolyn and Fuchsia for their help, love & support!)


On a sad note, my cousin, Shamia, lost her baby about 6-ish weeks before she was to be born. Very sad occasion. Tink, as she is called by family, is in great spirits. I talked with her the following morning after the ordeal and after a short time spent on reflecting, we jumped in to conversations that of course resulted in us both laughing our asses off! *smile* She's such a strong young woman. "In time...," were my words for her. LOVE!


This week has been pretty busy. With traveling back and forth, up and down I-95. Richmond, Midlothian, Petersburg...and back again...I am looking forward to going home-to Portsmouth-to be with my mommy and Toni (my sister). 


But I'll leave y'all with this-although busy, I enjoyed this type of busy. It is fun. Refreshing. (Unpaid...) but I'm happy. I did mention that right? The search to find my happy... Yeah, hmmm *ponders* *cues A Change is Gonna Come . 




God is love.Love is family + friends!

Mel

Hiyeee!, @IAmOfficialMel

Welcome!

Finally, I have decided to blog. For years now, I have contemplated doing this. Yes, I do have a lot to say but you never really know if you have what it takes, if people will read, blah blah blah. All that aside, here goes!


I'm Mel (if you follow or want to follow me on twitter, it is @IAmOfficialMel - I  DO follow back, but please be interesting). I graduated from college last spring. I have a BA in Communications. I do it all...PR, Journalism, Radio &amp; TV. Let me be honest though, Radio &amp; Television is a bit too technical for me. I am a creative person...a visionary. If you ever find me in that field, it will definitely be as: talent or behind the scenes.


I love social groups. I love people and conversations and getting to know one another. I have great friends. Too many to name, but they are all G R E A T! [Yes! You can have more than one best friend! I have several-&amp; NONE of them competes against each other. Not that type of crowd over here!!!]


My family is great. Different relationships, but great. [I'll probably talk about them some in the future.]


About me- I am 23. I will be 24 in the Spring. March baby! #Aries. I'm confident in things I do. Extremely passionate. I'm an artist. I've been acting for several years. So far, only theater. [I've done a small film project, but nothing major.] Music is my first love. Songwriting has always been a passion of mine and I never have and never will give up writing. I love fashion! Simple fashion. Mixing and matching and enjoying clothes!


Did I mention I was middle class socialite? Lol! No, really...I am! [Stay tuned to the blogs and twitter...you'll see!] 


Let's see-I'm an on-to-the-next type of person. I get bored fast. I'm always thinking of "What's next?" I love staying busy. I love the fast lane! I am loud. I talk loud. I argue loud. I will be heard! I dream big. I want a lot. And I believe that anything you want in this life, you can have...in one way or the other. Determination is key!


I do NOT entertain "drama"/negativity. Period. That is all I will say about that.


Now for the "lovable teddy bear" in me, (as my dear friend Fuchsia likes to say...) I care a lot for damn near everyone. When I believe in something/someone, I will be on the front line ready for war. My heart cries when I see people oppressed, or with low self-esteem or uncertain, feeling inadequate...anything A-Z that would damper someone's spirit-I have to fight against. This life is filled with too much goodness and everyone deserves a piece of it.


There's so much more about me - but you will find that out throughout my blogs.


That said, my blogs will typically cover:
-music
-theatre
-fashion
-life
-inspiration
-&amp; FOOD! (I am a FOODie...which is hard to battle at times...[see below])


...&amp; everything else A to Z on what it is being me!


In essence, this blog is intended for that young adult. Finding a job and building a career after college. Finding yourself in this society. Dealing with weight issues... (I too belong to that group. I hope you will follow me, no judgement, as I try to find my ideal weight and size, happiness and contentment with food!) There is no judgement here! 


God is love.Love is family + friends!

Mel