HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! 24 years ago today @ 9:24am, I, Melvin Montรก Lassiter was born! What can I say? Is 24 years suppose to feel like a lifetime? It doesn't. I still feel like I did 5-6-10 years ago...well sort of. I fell down the other day and let me tell you....yeah....you can just imagine! Lol!
Blessed! That is how I sum up life, from Monday, March 28, 1988 up until now, Wednesday, March 28, 2012. Of course, like anyone, I could sit and point out my hits and misses and should've, could've, would've thus far...but hell, there are plenty more hits and misses to come so I might as well wait right?!
I've am blessed to have family and friends whom I love so much. They've made 24 years interesting. Not too easy...I've been able to make mistakes and learn and grow from them. They've allowed me to become a man and independent and I am grateful for that because here I stand at 24; I have a job, my own apartment, a car (although that b!@#$ is taking me through...LOL...) and I just feel as though I've been able to gradually embrace and mature into adulthood. I have the best foundation a man could ask for.
...I have the best family..my mom, I absolutely adore her. She's the epitome of strength. Loyalty. Love. Friendship. Life pretty much. A great deal of why I am who I am today. My sisters...even my dad...although we're not extremely close, I see so much of him in myself the older I get. I think I really strike the balance between my parents. Lol.. My grandparents...everyone...through it all...thank you for the love and support. All my aunts, cousins, great aunts and cousins..etc...Thanks!
My friends that have been here for the past nearly 2o yrs(that's crazy) and in-between, y'all are my everything, and I appreciate growing and learning with you all!
So today, at this point in my life, I am happy. I am well with my character. I try to make the wisest decisions. I try not to judge others, and if I do, it comes from the best place..because I don't believe in judging other's mishaps, mistakes and choices-especially because I don't want people judging me. I know myself a little better. I know what I like and don't like. There are some things that I have zero tolerance for...and that is okay. I do know that the older you get, the less you apologize for the things you stand for! Which brings me to my birthday wish...
My birthday wish is for people to be more accepting of others. Whether that be, beliefs, lifestyles, careers, backgrounds, social classes...anything that would separate you from the next person, and cause you to judge or belittle them...FIND that medium. Find the common denominator that connects you to that person-1. the fact that you're a human being 2. that they have feelings just like you 3. understanding that you're a few decisions away from being THAT person- ...just learn to respect one another. That zero tolerance I spoke of...disrespect...oh man....(...I'll save that for a later post..)
...I speak like I've been here before right?...yeah I get told that a lot. "Old soul" is what they call it. Well..it is still the beginning of the year. So many possibilities and opportunities ahead. I'm optimistic... and quite spontaneous. I think that is the recipe that has gotten me this far. Can't wait to see what lies ahead... It's my birthday...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
God is love. Love is family + friends.
Mel
Hi guys and gals! Look! If your friends are as interesting as mine are, then you can relate. Also might I add before anyone wants to check the credibility, I am single. I have been single since April 2007..yes, that is almost 5 years. So what do I know? Probably not much. But I did grow up fast. I've grown a lot in five years. I was falling in love...hard, before many of y'all had discovered that there was a bird and a bee. So, I'm just speaking from 1. personal experience. 2. being the outsider looking in to some of my friend's decisions...
I guess...well I know this whole life thing is to be happy, fall in love, reproduce (...OR ADOPT...), raise a family, instill morals and values unto them...be happy, grow old and leave a legacy. Well...about that falling in love shit...ummmmmm! Let's talk. (PS. I DO NOT KNOW WHY I'M EVEN GIVING THIS LITTLE INSERT, BUT AS YOU KNOW MY FRIENDS RANGE ON A BROAD SPECTRUM...AND THEY LOVE WHO THEY LOVE-NO JUDGEMENT ZONE HERE. SO IF YOU JUDGING, THANKS FOR READING THUS FAR BUT THE EXIT BUTTON IS IN YOUR TOP RIGHT HAND CORNER. PEACE)
So over the past few months, I have watched a friend fall for a guy, that I personally wasn't a "fan" of...thought he could do better than. Until recently, things seemed be going well. Needless to say, the motherf!@#$% started showing his ass! Now my friend, who is probably having a breakdown before our eyes, is all types of filled w/ mixed emotions. Still wants him, but won't put up with the disrespect and subliminals via social media sites. The guy, the love interest, obviously has a lot, and I DO MEAN A LOT of growing up to do. Very much still a dreamer and at the end of the day, isn't ready for commitment.
Second scenario. I have a friend that swears he's unattractive (in all honesty....LOL..naw jk, he's a decent looking kid) but he has an odd approach to females. Again he's decent looking, cool type of person but he doesn't attract the "right" type of girls. THEN, when he's approached by the "perfect" girl, he "fakes" on her because of others looking on. WTF right?! Yeah, he said the same thing as he explained the situation. Keep in mind, in my opinion, he kind of has a high standard for the type of female he is willing to spend time getting to know. Contrary to guy in the first scenario, who, in my opinion, has a very moderate standard and is willing to work with someone he sees potential in. Now, unlike friend from the first scenario, friend is second scenario is very much materialistic and is honest about it! I believe friend in first scenario wants a thug...when he deserves an equal. (NOT SAYING THUGS ARE LESS THAN, I DID NOT SAY THAT...)
So what do I have to say? Keeping with my "non judgment mantra"... LOL...
Before I continue, let me say that I do not want a relationship right now...especially a committed one! Meaning, someone to kick it with - IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE SEX, I've been without that for a looong time too, so NO, it's not about the sex...just the company - SURE...but the titles and labels, obligations, emotions, time, energy, money, EVERYTHING that comes along with being in a relationship of that magnitude..HELL NO! I am 23, I'll be 24 in a few days (March 28th) and I have things to do. I can't have anyone tagging along, holding me down or back...sorry.. None of that. I need to be able to GO. No questions asked. No answers needed. AND I feel as though a lot of guys and girls around my age don't need that either. Am I judging? NO. All I'm saying is be able to define yourself and have something to offer before feeling the need to "need"....or want a relationship. AND if you decide that you do want a relationship...OK, or NEED one, know the difference between a relationship and fuck buddy; be able to recognize your self worth. Be able to be honest and say, "I want a committed relationship" and comprehend exactly what that entails. It's hard work! I know that now..if I'd known that 10 yrs ago, I'd still be in THAT relationship. But it takes time before that epiphany happens.
So as far my final thoughts on friends 1 and 2...
For friend number 1, who's talented above and beyond, an artist much like myself, focus on your artistry. You ain't taking him anywhere he wants to be, so leave him where you found him. Besides...the disrespect is more than any of your friends can handle, and we're liable to....Anyways, you love hard I see and IF that is meant to be, it isn't right now. If it is in the cards, then it will happen. In the meantime, write, and open yourself up to someone who you don't have to work so hard for...you DESERVE it.
Friend number 2, ............... Stop cutting yourself short of the type of females you're willing to give the time of day to. You may find her somewhere in the pile of "basic" females you've ruled out. Piece of advice. The girl you're meant for will not care about Louis Vuitton, Hermes, or Christian Louboutin...well.......they would come third behind family and you. You feel me? Short, tall, chubby, skinny... you've got to have a balance somewhere. You're uber tall and skinny...and you look 11 years old. You're not quite the guy, EVERY WOMAN is looking for either..just putting it out there! HOWEVER, you're still young and you have T I M E! Focus on what you do...basketball...fashion...just continue working on building your character, finding what it is that you want besides a pretty face...and then...be sure have to something you've earned to offer.
I fell out of love some time in 2008. (I know..it took some time right? I mean, we did break up in April 2007...) but what I learned during and after that relationship is.. you have to know yourself, you have to be open enough and honest with yourself to have balance, patience, your own identity, and something to offer. Love hard...and fast...In my world, there is no other way to fall....but also I learned that more than anything, I was too young to settle down. Not talking marriage, just a relationship in general. After that relationship and the energy used during it, good and bad, I could have put that into something more fulfilling than a relationship at this stage in my life when I'm still growing. Ya feel me? Maybe you don't. Again, I'm not saying that this is for everyone, but it's been working for me...although....I do get horny for time to time...HAHAHAHAHA!
Thank you for reading!
PS. Any typos, I am not correcting right now. I'm slightly tired, I'll edit sometime later!
God is love. Love is family + friends.
Mel
