HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! 24 years ago today @ 9:24am, I, Melvin Montá Lassiter was born! What can I say? Is 24 years suppose to feel like a lifetime? It doesn't. I still feel like I did 5-6-10 years ago...well sort of. I fell down the other day and let me tell you....yeah....you can just imagine! Lol! 


Blessed! That is how I sum up life, from Monday, March 28, 1988 up until now, Wednesday, March 28, 2012. Of course, like anyone, I could sit and point out my hits and misses and should've, could've, would've thus far...but hell, there are plenty more hits and misses to come so I might as well wait right?!


I've am blessed to have family and friends whom I love so much. They've made 24 years interesting. Not too easy...I've been able to make mistakes and learn and grow from them. They've allowed me to become a man and independent and I am grateful for that because here I stand at 24; I have a job, my own apartment, a car (although that b!@#$ is taking me through...LOL...) and I just feel as though I've been able to gradually embrace and mature into adulthood. I have the best foundation a man could ask for.


...I have the best family..my mom, I absolutely adore her. She's the epitome of strength. Loyalty. Love. Friendship. Life pretty much. A great deal of why I am who I am today. My sisters...even my dad...although we're not extremely close, I see so much of him in myself the older I get. I think I really strike the balance between my parents. Lol.. My grandparents...everyone...through it all...thank you for the love and support. All my aunts, cousins, great aunts and cousins..etc...Thanks!


My friends that have been here for the past nearly 2o yrs(that's crazy) and in-between, y'all are my everything, and I appreciate growing and learning with you all!


So today, at this point in my life, I am happy. I am well with my character. I try to make the wisest decisions. I try not to judge others, and if I do, it comes from the best place..because I don't believe in judging other's mishaps, mistakes and choices-especially because I don't want people judging me.  I know myself a little better. I know what I like and don't like. There are some things that I have zero tolerance for...and that is okay. I do know that the older you get, the less you apologize for the things you stand for! Which brings me to my birthday wish...


My birthday wish is for people to be more accepting of others. Whether that be, beliefs, lifestyles, careers, backgrounds, social classes...anything that would separate you from the next person, and cause you to judge or belittle them...FIND that medium. Find the common denominator that connects you to that person-1. the fact that you're a human being 2. that they have feelings just like you 3. understanding that you're a few decisions away from being THAT person- ...just learn to respect one another. That zero tolerance I spoke of...disrespect...oh man....(...I'll save that for a later post..)


...I speak like I've been here before right?...yeah I get told that a lot. "Old soul" is what they call it. Well..it is still the beginning of the year. So many possibilities and opportunities ahead. I'm optimistic... and quite spontaneous. I think that is the recipe that has gotten me this far. Can't wait to see what lies ahead... It's my birthday...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!


God is love. Love is family + friends.

Mel 

Relationships...Or Whatever U Call It

Hi guys and gals! Look! If your friends are as interesting as mine are, then you can relate. Also might I add before anyone wants to check the credibility, I am single. I have been single since April 2007..yes, that is almost 5 years. So what do I know? Probably not much. But I did grow up fast. I've grown a lot in five years. I was falling in love...hard, before many of y'all had discovered that there was a bird and a bee. So, I'm just speaking from 1. personal experience. 2. being the outsider looking in to some of my friend's decisions...


I guess...well I know this whole life thing is to be happy, fall in love, reproduce (...OR ADOPT...), raise a family, instill morals and values unto them...be happy, grow old and leave a legacy. Well...about that falling in love shit...ummmmmm! Let's talk. (PS. I DO NOT KNOW WHY I'M EVEN GIVING THIS LITTLE INSERT, BUT AS YOU KNOW MY FRIENDS RANGE ON A BROAD SPECTRUM...AND THEY LOVE WHO THEY LOVE-NO JUDGEMENT ZONE HERE. SO IF YOU JUDGING, THANKS FOR READING THUS FAR BUT THE EXIT BUTTON IS IN YOUR TOP RIGHT HAND CORNER. PEACE) 


So over the past few months, I have watched a friend fall for a guy, that I personally wasn't a "fan" of...thought he could do better than. Until recently, things seemed be going well. Needless to say, the motherf!@#$% started showing his ass! Now my friend, who is probably having a breakdown before our eyes, is all types of filled w/ mixed emotions. Still wants him, but won't put up with the disrespect and subliminals via social media sites. The guy, the love interest, obviously has a lot, and I DO MEAN A LOT of growing up to do. Very much still a dreamer and at the end of the day, isn't ready for commitment.


Second scenario. I have a friend that swears he's unattractive (in all honesty....LOL..naw jk, he's a decent looking kid) but he has an odd approach to females. Again he's decent looking, cool type of person but he doesn't attract the "right" type of girls. THEN, when he's approached by the "perfect" girl, he "fakes" on her because of others looking on. WTF right?! Yeah, he said the same thing as he explained the situation. Keep in mind, in my opinion, he kind of has a high standard for the type of female he is willing to spend time getting to know. Contrary to guy in the first scenario, who, in my opinion, has a very moderate standard and is willing to work with someone he sees potential in. Now, unlike friend from the first scenario, friend is second scenario is very much materialistic and is honest about it! I believe friend in first scenario wants a thug...when he deserves an equal. (NOT SAYING THUGS ARE LESS THAN, I DID NOT SAY THAT...)


So what do I have to say? Keeping with my "non judgment mantra"... LOL...


Before I continue, let me say that I do not want a relationship right now...especially a committed one! Meaning, someone to kick it with - IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE SEX, I've been without that for a looong time too, so NO, it's not about the sex...just the company - SURE...but the titles and labels, obligations, emotions, time, energy, money, EVERYTHING that comes along with being in a relationship of that magnitude..HELL NO! I am 23, I'll be 24 in a few days (March 28th) and I have things to do. I can't have anyone tagging along, holding me down or back...sorry.. None of that. I need to be able to GO. No questions asked. No answers needed. AND I feel as though a lot of guys and girls around my age don't need that either. Am I judging? NO. All I'm saying is be able to define yourself and have something to offer before feeling the need to "need"....or want a relationship. AND if you decide that you do want a relationship...OK, or NEED one, know the difference between a relationship and fuck buddy; be able to recognize your self worth. Be able to be honest and say, "I want a committed relationship" and comprehend exactly what that entails. It's hard work! I know that now..if I'd known that 10 yrs ago, I'd still be in THAT relationship. But it takes time before that epiphany happens.


So as far my final thoughts on friends 1 and 2...


For friend number 1, who's talented above and beyond, an artist much like myself, focus on your artistry. You ain't taking him anywhere he wants to be, so leave him where you found him. Besides...the disrespect is more than any of your friends can handle, and we're liable to....Anyways, you love hard I see and IF that is meant to be, it isn't right now. If it is in the cards, then it will happen. In the meantime, write, and open yourself up to someone who you don't have to work so hard for...you DESERVE it.


Friend number 2, ............... Stop cutting yourself short of the type of females you're willing to give the time of day to. You may find her somewhere in the pile of "basic" females you've ruled out. Piece of advice. The girl you're meant for will not care about Louis Vuitton, Hermes, or Christian Louboutin...well.......they would come third behind family and you. You feel me? Short, tall, chubby, skinny... you've got to have a balance somewhere. You're uber tall and skinny...and you look 11 years old. You're not quite the guy, EVERY WOMAN is looking for either..just putting it out there! HOWEVER, you're still young and you have T I M E! Focus on what you do...basketball...fashion...just continue working on building your character, finding what it is that you want besides a pretty face...and then...be sure have to something you've earned to offer.


I fell out of love some time in 2008. (I know..it took some time right? I mean, we did break up in April 2007...) but what I learned during and after that relationship is.. you have to know yourself, you have to be open enough and honest with yourself to have balance, patience, your own identity, and something to offer. Love hard...and fast...In my world, there is no other way to fall....but also I learned that more than anything, I was too young to settle down. Not talking marriage, just a relationship in general. After that relationship and the energy used during it, good and bad, I could have put that into something more fulfilling than a relationship at this stage in my life when I'm still growing. Ya feel me? Maybe you don't. Again, I'm not saying that this is for everyone, but it's been working for me...although....I do get horny for time to time...HAHAHAHAHA!


Thank you for reading!


PS. Any typos, I am not correcting right now. I'm slightly tired, I'll edit sometime later!


God is love. Love is family + friends.

Mel

Happy Valentine's Day

Oh you guys, It has been a while since my last post!!! I cannot begin to express how grateful I am for the feedback and love that I've gotten in response to this blog...Thanks, really...THANK YOU so much!


A few things have happened since my last post...Order of importance... 


Sadly, on January 18, 2012, I received news that my cousin Damon had suddenly passed away. Such a shock to my family. A "gentle giant" he indeed was. His charisma, his chuckle/laugh when he spoke...he will be missed. RIP Damon.
Being home for the services, I started to think. We always wish we were meeting up under different circumstances, yet, when the circumstances are more favorable, we have every excuse in the world, "I'm too busy," "I'm too tired," etc. Okay, so yes, there are genuine and legitimate reasons for absences....let's just say I took a long hard look at my itinerary. You have to MAKE the time. That's all it really comes down to. Thanks Damon.

Returning home, to my routine was quite shocking...in a good way. I was literally, returning H O M E-to MY apartment that I had just moved into the day before my cousin passed away. Let me tell you, turning that key and walking into my place was very liberating. It was a reassurance from God- I was doing SOMETHING right. Even now, as I write this blog, I look at how everything is slowly coming together. The bathroom set, the kitchen set, certain living room pieces I have my eyes on...I'm blessed. Thank you God.

That's where I am currently. I still love my job. I have friends there. My friends that I already had are still strong. My family is great. They're getting stronger and stronger. I had a chance to talk for a few hours with my oldest sister when I was home in January. I needed it. The love. The bond. The laughter. Life is pretty good...NOT perfect, but damn good. *smile*

In honor and in celebrating the life, the legacy and the music of Whitney Houston, I send love to everyone. To those for me, and against me. To those who have come and gone and are yet to come...and yet to go. I send love to y'all because, it is because of every single one of you that I am who I am..in so many ways. Through every encounter whether brief or long, I was able to take something away to better myself-to live the best life that I can live. And since I'm currently living this life, SINGLE....

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I NEED A VALENTINE, SO I INVITE YOU ALL TO BE MY VALENTINE!!! XOXOXO

In memory of...
Damon D. Drewrey
5.5.73 - 1.18.12


Whitney Houston
8.9.63 - 2.11.12


OH BEFORE I FORGET, BE SURE TO CHECK OUT MY COUSIN BRITTANY'S BLOG --> Me As I See <-- I ABSOLUTELY F**KIN LOVE IT!


God(please forgive the f-bomb above) is love. Love is family + friends.

Mel

Happy 2012!!!

Happy New Year!!!!!


It's 2012!!! Welcome to the New Year everyone! This holiday season was what it was suppose to be. What does that mean? It means that I have no complaints. Christmas was spent w/ family and friends. New Year's Eve was spent w/ friends. New Year's Day, I had to work...and as expected, New Year's Night, was spent sleeping and resting! Simple yet ideal. What more could a guy ask for?


My spirit is full of joy. My health is cool, I'm a bit overweight, but I'm working on that. I'm happy. I'm in a very good space.  I have great friends. Great family. I have a great job. I've discovered again what makes me happy...


I'm getting back to my music, songwriting. I wrote my first song when I was eight years old. I've written countless songs over the past 15 years -I cannot wait to dive head first into my music again this year. New adventures w/ Myles Spencer, Kellita Wooten and more!!! So exciting!!! I cannot wait. I cannot give too much away, but a lot of great things happening in 2012!


As I think back on last year, it was not a bad year. I graduated from college. I did not move back home. New friends came along. I really do not think I lost any friends...well....there was that one...but that's where? ALL THE WAYYY BACK THERE! The second half of the year, brought me to 106 & Park to meet Kimora. This blog (which is one of the most proudest creations of mine). A new job. Ups and (a few) downs and here I stand. That's a testimony to myself. Realizing what I'm able to achieve when I put my mind to it.


With that said, my new year's resolutions are as follows:
1. To keep my happiness.
2. Secure an apartment.
3. Keep my job.
4. Explore my songwriting (jazz, rnb, rock, country etc...)
5. Continue building my brand.
6. Exploring new avenues.
7. BEING THE BEST ME THAT I CAN BE.  


My advice for my readers and the general public for this new year...Be unafraid to be YOU! Stop chasing your dreams and grab them! Make your dreams your reality. Stop living YOUR life through people you see on television. Make the life you live as fabulous, fun-filled and fulfilled as possible by what you have and what you are able to achieve. Put yourself first. Find your center. Secure your happiness. Then do good unto others. It comes back! That's the good life.


Love all y'all for the support! Be blessed this new year!


Ps. I've said it before, I love talking to people. If ever you're not feeling at your best-in need of a little "pick me up," pick up your phone and call me. If nothing more, I'm an ear to listen.  


God is love. Love is family + friends.

Mel

My Center-Uninterrupted!

It's been three weeks since my last post.  Lately, I haven't really had much to write about to be honest. I've been working {still loving the new gig}, relaxing, planning my next moves and finding my center. A few weeks ago, I had a conversation w/ my friend's boyfriend, Asa. It was great chatting with him! What started out as a routine "How are you?," ended up being an in depth, therapeutic  conversation about...ME! Sounds a bit cocky/conceited right? NO! I am NEVER one to talk about myself. But it damn sure felt good to be asked about MYSELF for once, opposed to being the one always doing the asking. For once, I was able to express myself, my goals, dreams and aspirations...uninterrupted, with someone genuinely interested. Thanks Asa!


After that conversation, I feel like my vision was a lot less blurred-because it was recognized by someone else. Validation. Oprah talked about it in her "Farewell" show. Validating someone. Simply recognizing/acknowledging someone or something that someone is doing. Was I searching for validation? No, obviously though, subconsciously I had longed for it. That conversation opened a new door for me. 


Finding my center was more than coming to a happy place within myself, but it was validating others around me and bringing them along to that happy place with me. Let me tell you-what a great feeling it is. It's a happiness and peace that only comes from within.


Try it...


...Well, yesterday was Christmas! {I'm writing this blog at 2am on 12/27 but I'm still in a 12/26 state of mind} Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone! I enjoyed my day very much! Fuchsia was along for the ride again. Spent time w/ JaNisa and got to see my bff Tara. Wine, food and more wine was how I spent my Christmas holiday. You really learn the true meaning of Christmas when you're 23! Ha! But seriously, it was definitely about the love and relaxing this season. Much fun. 


I think that about catches y'all up. I hope y'all take something from this and put it to good use. I'll check in with y'all in a few days! Thanks for reading.


Ps. I'm not a "taker". I didn't just "take" from that conversation w/ Asa. He, too, discussed a few things he had in the works and of course, existing in this networking society, there may be a few projects we'll collaborate on. Stay tuned...


God is love. Love is family + friends.

Mel

If You Ever, Ever Feel...

I witnessed today how small minded, judgmental and assumptive people are-and they were ADULTS. It is very sad. What hope do we have for our youth being a better generation, a more accepting, forgiving, non-judging group of people, when the very people raising them exemplify just the opposite?! The saddest part is, children, teenagers, are taking their own lives after having being bullied and no one is holding the parents of these children doing the bullying accountable. 


To witness an adult, of a particular age, behave in such a manner that negatively affects our society and how we interact and co-exist, is very troubling and extremely disheartening. I feel as though I witnessed firsthand today the type of parenting that is plaguing our younger generations and brainwashing them into believing that it is OK to bully, torment and bring down others. 


It is NOT. It is cruel. It is wrong.


I hold the parents of the bullies accountable. Somewhere down the line while raising your children, you have forgotten to instill in them: decency; simply being a decent person. Treating others how you would want to be treated. How could you NOT express that to your children?


It starts at home. 


To the parents of bullies and to the bullies themselves: To the people, the lives, you've affected, (...if they feel like I feel...) you can keep your "Sorry". Explain to the families of those who have lost a loved one AFTER having being bullied-explain to them why it is you felt obligated to bully someone else. Explain to them how you blatantly showed no regard for their  well being and/or emotional state. Now, say you're "Sorry"...


...


*I made this blog, not because of one thing in particular, but because of how it seems that generations are passing this ignorance down to generation after generation. As I get older and I see characteristics in people 20+ my senior, identical to actions that I saw in my peers some 14 years ago-it is disturbing. Bullying affects everyone. African Americans, Caucasians-every race, the LGBT community, short people, tall people, teenagers going through puberty, poor people, rich people, religious groups, political groups, cultures...IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE. And it is NOT right. 


To everyone... #ItGetsBetter


Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
Just Need Someone To Talk To: 1-804-943-3268 (Mel)


"God is love. Love is family and friends."

Mel

Size Me Up!

I really just want to get this off of my chest. 85% of the day, everyday, I am extremely self-conscious about my weight. That said, YES, I do think about my weight a lot. To everyone around me, it may or may not show, but yes, it stays present on my mind and sometimes it gets depressing to think about. I want to...NEED to do something about it, but I don't. I just continue to eat, NOT exercise, I overeat, I sleep right after meals...everything under the sun that packs on the pounds, I do it (x5).


This is sad.


Rewind: 

About three years ago, I dropped a few pounds. I don't know the number. I know that after 3 months, I saw a difference. I must say that it was NOT on purpose. I was doing a show. I walked everyday to rehearsal and shows and sometimes walked home after. My schedule was so busy, I wasn't eating properly and I was consuming water like crazy. Again, I didn't consciously decide to do it. There I was looking in the mirror, and I was loving the image looking back at me.

Fast-forward to the present. I've since come to understand and accept that I am an emotional eater. When things are good, when things are bad, when I'm nervous, worried, anxious, overly excited...any emotion you can think of, I will eat...and eat....and eat!  


To make matters worst, I ENJOY food! The taste of good food. Gourmet. Soul food. Diners. Fast Food. Desserts...my God!!! I like Sodas. I love kool-aid. I enjoy wine. And I drink socially. Calories. Calories. Calories!!!


What do I do? I am getting back to a place in my life, where I am happy and things are really looking good. I partially suffer from the fear of "The rug can be pulled from up under me at any moment" syndrome-but this is an excuse. I know. I need to find a balance in the meals I eat and exercise..etc. Also I don't like to exercise. Exercise, meaning going to the gym, running, blah blah blah...NO. You do too much to not see INSTANT results. Then comes the discouragement. 

I must take control over this. I want to feel good about myself. Not that I don't feel good about myself now...but I want to feel better. I want my image on the outside to look and feel as great as I do on the inside...in my heart and in my spirit. I need the motivation. And I need the support along the way. 

Help me. Somebody. Anybody.

**In no way do I want to be "skinny". However, I am 5'5 and 3/4. Based on the scale, I am 247.6lbs. (Many say I don't look it. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Do I feel like it? Eh!) I wear a size 38 (which really means 40-no need in hiding it like I tried to hide the fact that I'm basically 250lbs.). I do want to be fit. Healthy, Balanced. 

I'm scared to lose 100lbs. I'm scared to even attempt. What if I succeed? I don' think I could look at that image in the mirror. I'm just being honest. While I'm being honest, 150lbs, is a bit ridiculous for me-FOR ME...it just is. Let me get to down to 200lbs first. Then I'll reevaluate. **

Thanks.

God is love. Love is family and friends.

Mel